Schwarzenegger to Veto Gay Marriage Bill; State Braces for Onslaught of Bad Puns

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger announced yesterday that he plans to veto a same-sex marriage bill. With news of the planned veto, people across the state braced themselves in anticipation of veto-related puns.

"It's like the Governor thinks he's still making Rambo," said Sacramento resident Donny Carlson. "He just can't help it. I can hear it now: 'this bill is terminated.' Dude, that movie was like, 20 years ago. Give it a freaking rest already."

Some citizens were more upbeat, such as April Medina of Fresno. "I like some of the puns. I mean yes, the 'you're terminated' one is terrible, but it's kind of a classic. Sometimes they're clever though."

Sources in Sacramento report that among the puns being considered by the governor are:

"Girlie-men can't get married in California. Unless it's to girlie-women."

"This bill will go down, but bills go down in California all the time. Such as Bill in the Castro, Bill in West Hollywood..."

"Because this bill conflicts with proposition 22 which was passed 5 1/2 years ago, my hands are tied. To the bedposts. With pantyhose."

"Same-sex marriage in California is like an Austrian bodybuilder action star who marries a Kennedy and then becomes a Republican governor: an affront to nature."

In a related story, former California Governor Gray Davis will explain today why his handling of the energy crisis in 2000 was actually correct, but most pedestrians will ignore him and keep walking.