North Korean Disappointed to Learn MP3 player Cannot Download Food

SEOUL, South Korea - North Korea is encouraging its citizens to go online and even boasting about the popularity of MP3 players.

Kim Hyun Lee, 20, was excited about her new MP3 player until she found out that she would not be able to use it to download food.

"I like music and of course the patriotic speeches of our Dear Leader," Kim said. "But I had been hoping to download a bowl of soup."

Access to online content from outside the country is strictly controlled, but Kim seems unbothered by the restrictions.

"I can download whatever I want!" said Kim, who works as a clerk in the Ministry of Perceived Slights.

"So far I have downloaded "I Would Gladly Die for our Exalted Dear Leader," "the Righteous Path of the Great Leader Kim Il Sung," and "Stephen Colbert's Speech at the White House Press Correspondents' Dinner."

She added that she is looking forward to spending the equivalent of two months' pay to download an episode of "The Office."

"I just love their wry, irreverent take on office relationships," said Kim. "I especially love Dwight."