Friday, October 14, 2005

Mary-Kate Olsen Leaving NYU

Mary-Kate Olsen is leaving NYU, according to sources close to the star of "Full House" and "New York Minute."

Sources say she is planning to pursue "personal interests," including taking ecstasy, going to raves, and not eating.

"M-K adheres to a strict diet of Venti Soy Lattes and Benson & Hedges Light Menthol 100s," said the source, "and the University community just hasn't been that accepting of her lifestyle."

Olsen has commented previously on the pressure society puts on young women related to body image. "Look, not every girl can or should weigh 110 pounds. Some of us want to weigh 90, 95 tops."

Ashley Olsen is said to be supportive of her twin sister's choice, but privately looking forward to finally having her own room.

"Ashley hasn't really been overshadowed by Mary-Kate," said the source, "but that's mainly because M-K hasn't had a shadow since 2002."

When contacted for comment, "Full House" father Bob Saget released a statement that was laced with profanity, graphic sexual imagery, and references to "Uncle Jesse."

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Mary-Kate Olsen, in a publicity still from "New York Minute"

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Saget: More than just a little bit creepy

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are f*****g hilarious man. Just found your blog and plan on telling the rest of my useless co-workers to check it out. Mary-Kate = Anorexic Chimpanzee.

2:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know you're busy, but the real news is too scary, so can you post something funny for me to read this week?

Thanks

4:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i like the olson twins. very talented. earned their success by working their way up from nothing. i think we can all learn from their preseverance.

10:41 AM  

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