Just A Few Headlines

Sometimes the regular headlines are better than any story you could make up.

I've been so busy this week that I haven't written anything. Nevertheless, I thought I'd try to get a few headlines on paper.

Cheney Accepts Full Responsibility for Shooting
"I knew it was the right call, once I realized I wouldn't face any real consequences," Cheney says in fawning, ridiculous interview with Fox suck-up Brit Hume.

"Besides," says Cheney, "he had a gun, and he could have turned on me anytime. Waiting for him to shoot me would have been foolish."

TomKat Deny Rumors of Breakup
"We are not breaking up," says Tom. "A deal is a deal."
"Also? I am very, very gay," he adds. "Which means happy."

Britney Drives with Child on Lap
"I'm just totally shocked by this, yo," says Britney's husband/dancer/babydaddy Kevin Federline. "Because normally my girl exercises such good judgment, y'know?"

Iran maybe Trying to Develop Nuclear Weapons, say Experts
"How do you know?"
"Well, because their President said, 'We are trying to develop Nuclear Weapons,'" says expert.
"You might have missed it because it was in a tiny article on page A26 of the New York Times next to a hair restoration ad."