Monday, August 14, 2006

Responding to airline liquid ban, Starbucks introduces new products


Seattle- In response to the recent ban on carrying liquids aboard flights, Starbucks has hastened its introduction of several new non-liquid coffee alternatives.

"We were already test-marketing a few different things," said new product manager Elliot Overbeak. "This latest development did cause us to speed up our launch timetable."

Among the new products being tested in airports around the country are:
  • the Latteblock, a brick of dehydrated caffe latte the size of a deck of cards; "you just kind of lick it, like a salt lick," explained Overbeak.
  • Java Jerky, coffee-flavored strips of dried beef marinated in Sumatran Fair Trade Shade Grown coffee;
  • the Espresso Patch, which delivers the equivalent of 3 double espressos over a four hour period.
Starbucks had also introduced a caramel macchiato suppository, but it was quickly removed from the market.

"The suppository worked like a charm, but people kept coming back and complaining about the taste. So we thought, 'maybe the market isn't ready for that one yet.'"

Starbucks, based in Seattle, has 413,000 outlets in 46 airports nationwide. Starbucks is an active sponsor of numerous non-profits and charities, but that's mostly to counteract the perception that it is a greedy, soulless multinational conglomerate.

1 Comments:

Blogger Christina said...

Hilarious! The suppository bit was great and of course, the last sentence, so true.

7:17 PM  

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