Thursday, September 21, 2006

Popeye Hospitalized in Fair Condition
"I gots a hell of a scare - ug-ug-ug!"


Newark, NJ - Popeye the Sailor Man, 77, was in fair condition after being admitted to Parkside Nondenominational Hospital with symptoms of E. Coli infection.

"Popeye presented at the emergency room late last night with fever, cramps, diarrhea - classic symptoms" of E. Coli infection, said Dr. Ajay Gupta, attending physician.

As of Thursday morning, Popeye was taking fluids intravenously and resting.

"I had fixed Popeye a big Cobb salad for dinner, like usual," said his common law wife, Olive Oyl, 73, of Bayonne.

"I tried to convince him to have hearts of romaine, or endive, maybe some arugula. But he insisted on spinach," she added.

"Usually when he eats it, his biceps turn into little anvils and his forearms become jackhammers. But instead his stomach turned into a boxing glove. He said, 'argh, this salad's sockin' me in the gut!' I knew he needed help."

Bagged spinach has been blamed for the current E. Coli outbreak, which has spread across 21 states. Spinach is a green leafy vegetable which, when not tainted with a toxic, potentially fatal bacteria, is rich in vitamins and minerals.

Dr. Gupta said he believed Popeye would make a full recovery, in part because he received immediate medical attention.

"Popeye is in excellent health for a man of his age, but E. Coli is a very serious illness. Ms. Oyl's prompt action may have saved his life," said Gupta.

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