St. Patrick's Day In Greek Islands Totally Sucks

MYTILINI, LESVOS - St. Patrick's Day 2006 in this town of 40,000 isn't the celebration he thought it would be. So claimed Caleb Felder, 23, the Boston College undergrad who flew to Europe this year to "go Irish-style cra-zazy" on Lesvos, the beautiful and historic Greek island in the Aegean Sea.

"I thought St. Patrick's was a world-wide party, you know? They just don't get it here," declared Felder, staring out the window of the quiet Erato Bar at 2:30 in the afternoon.

The undeclared junior used money he had saved from his job at the campus bookstore to pay for the week-long trip. "When I saw Spring Break lined up perfectly with a Friday St. Patty's week, I was like, 'I'm totally going to Greece,'" Felder stated.

All rooms on the popular island of Mykonos were booked, however, so he expanded his search. "I ran across this place and it was cheaper than Mykonos, and I was like, 'score!' A Greek island is a Greek island, isn't it?"

Felder, sporting a pre-distressed Boston Celtics cap and a "Blow Me, I'm Irish" t-shirt from Hot Topic, couldn't hide his disappointment watching the Mytilini locals going about their normal business.

Angus McRowdy's 2005 St. Patrick's Day party not sucking

"I bet things are rockin' at Rowdy's, right now," he sighed, nursing a shot of ouzo and an imported Bud Light at the otherwise empty bar. Felder was referring to Angus McRowdy's Pub, the Boston sports bar where he spent his last two St. Patrick's eves.

"Someone's probably already in the shitter puking," he laughed, not realizing it was only 7:30 a.m. on the East Coast of the United States.

"I'm mean, sure, it's beautiful here, and there's some culture and history and all that, but no green beer?!? No half-price body shots off the Jameson Girls?!? The Greeks just don't understand tradition."

Felder did not comment on whether he was still considering his plans to "party it up big-time" next 4th of July in Barcelona, Spain.